Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I Woke Up And One of Us Was Crying

I had a bad dream. I don't remember it now. You know that fleeting moment when you wake up and you can just remember the end of your dream but then the memories evaporate as soon as you blink your eyes?

That's happening to me more and more lately.

There's something about this place. It's not just a house without doors. I walked to kitchen yesterday and I swore the hallway was longer than it used to be. I got this dizzy feeling when I was walking down the hallway and it seemed like it was stretching out. I closed my eyes and sank to the floor, holding onto my knees like a little child. When I opened my eyes, the hallway was the same length it had always been.

I'm still trying to read The City on the Borderland. It's tough. Whenever I start, I get sleepy, like my mind's rebelling at reading it. I'm at the point in the book where the unnamed narrator finally meets someone else within the City (which is simultaneously called "the Labyrinthine City" and "the District Maze"). This mysterious person warns the unnamed narrator not to try and leave the City and that the only way out leads to the "Night Lands" where strange and terrible creatures dwell.

It's been so long since I've talked to my mom or my dad or my sister. When I woke up today, I thought I dreamed about them, but the memory just disappeared like water in a sieve.

Sometimes I think I'm not really here. Sometimes I'm swimming in an ocean. Sometimes I'm in my bed, entangled in the sheets, dead to the world outside. Is there a world outside this house?

I think I'm going crazy.


  1. We are all born mad.

    Some of us remain so.

  2. They come at us in our dreams. When we sleep they find us. Least you know what/where you are at, in a vague sense. It just seems low to come at you in your sleep.

  3. We're all mad here. I'm mad You're mad.
    The difference is that I will eat you.

    - RS

  4. You are very sane, That is what is so scary, That it's all real.