So I've been sitting here watching the Door, thinking about if I should open it. On the one hand, should I listen to Captain Kirk (or, as these people call it, the Choir) and leave it unopened? Or do I throw caution to the wind and open the Door, even though it could lead to a worse place than this?
I decided to flip a coin. What the hell, right? Heads I open it, tails I leave it closed.
I got a quarter and flipped it -- and two quarters came down, one heads and one tails.
Puzzled, I did it again -- and the same thing happened. Now I had three coins and I had started with one.
I found a six-sided die in the bedroom (next to all my old D&D stuff that had been carefully placed next to my childhood books) and went back to the living room and rolled it. If I rolled a six, I would open the Door. If I rolled any other number, I wouldn't open it.
During the roll, the die split into six dice. Each one had a different number on top.
This must be the Door. Or the house. Or something. Every stochastic event I try comes out with not just one possible ending, but all possible endings. This violates all known laws of not only statistics, but physics -- where the fuck are all these extra coins and dice coming from? Alternate universes?
Fuck. Fucking fucking fuckin fuck.
If not by random chance, than how I will decide?